i can’t even express my feelings on my other tumblr anymore. just got called a whiny ginge.
I’ve got this Lidl orange juice
sitting beside me.
I can barely see
over this mountain in front of me
You want the truth? The truth that sends me to my knees?
I just feel lost, like my heart has come loose.
It’s like I’m just drifting
through the corridors of life
trying to keep my head down,
just to avoid another rift.
Them, with the plastic faces
all too willing to stick a knife
in my back.
Am I on the right track?
I often ask myself this question
But in the furthest corner of my mind, never say it loud
As I cannot stand the tension.
Being pushed around in the crowd,
I wonder, am I too kind?
But I daren’t mention
this thought out loud.
Hate.
This place messes with my head.
No, stop pretending to be my ‘mate’
All I want to do is crawl
into bed.
I have one missed call,
from opportunity land.
Take my hand,
We’ll dive into the icy blue sea
and remember the way,
the way things used to be.
my mum’s leaving to go to new york in the morning.
and i’m more upset about the fact i have to stay with my dad. i only say about 2 words to him a day. and i hate myself for that.
why is it all so complicated?
i’ve liked him for ages, but now all my friends seem to. and one of them is apparently going to go out with him, once they’ve got to know each other better.
i’m so sick of watching all the minutes pass as i go nowhere.
i like being able to say what i want.
with only 15 or so people reading it.
fuck.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
why do i always fuck things up?
I have all these plans in my head. Pass standard grades, pass Highers, pass Advanced Highers, go to uni to do architecture. But what if they don’t work out? What will happen then?
I’m scared.
i now have 5 followers.
good. it’s hard to say what you really feel when 550 people are reading it.
and you 5 are some of my favourites.
I wish I wasn’t my own worst enemy. I wish I didn’t always get in the way of everything being great, for once. Not for other people, but for myself. Why don’t I want myself to be happy?
